


Would you miss me?

by PrinceStxrm



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Post-Episode: Putting Others First - Selfishness v. Selflessness Redux | Sanders Sides, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:41:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25316956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceStxrm/pseuds/PrinceStxrm
Summary: Roman asks Virgil an important question "Would you miss me if I were to die?"...
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Comments: 5
Kudos: 137





	Would you miss me?

**Author's Note:**

> Cw: Suicidal thoughts, mentions of ways to commit suicide, and Virgil being kind of accidentally unsympathetic, but that wasn't the intention behind it, implied prinxiety(? it can be seen as either platonic or romantic.  
> -  
> I wasn't feeling my best when I wrote this, I haven't been feeling good at all for a while, so this might not be the best...

All the sides were sitting down on the table eating dinner as per usual, except today Roman seemed awfully quiet, which is extremely unusual for the prince, he always seemed to have a story, opinion or comment to share with the others.

Virgil sighed turning his head to look at Roman who was just staring at his plate of food and stabbing the vegetables with his fork "You ok there, dude?" He asked

Roman flinched at the question "Uh, yeah, yeah… I'm fine, just thinking" he lied

"About what?"

"Everything…" Roman sighed

"Are you still mad about what Janus said?" Patton softly asked

Roman's grasp on the fork tightened "No" he lied again, this time being obvious to the others

"You know he didn't really mean it… Right?"

Roman sighed and Virgil gave Patton the 'stop talking' look

"Well, ok then, let's change the subject!" Patton smiled "So, Logan, how's your day been?"

Logan quietly looked at Patton quite surprised at the question "It's been quite all right, how has  _ your _ day been, Patton?" He figured Patton didn't really care about how his day actually went, he just needed to start a conversation.

"Actually, really good! I was watching this video about cats and…" Patton's voice started to fade, Roman could only hear his own breathing at that point, his head hurt and his heart felt like it was about to run out of his chest, he felt someone touching his shoulder and suddenly his hearing came back

"Roman, Patton asked how your day's been," Virgil said concerned

His day had been awful, his thoughts were as loud as ever and he just wanted to end it all, but he couldn't really tell them that, could he? "Oh, it's been… Okay, I guess… Thanks for asking" 

Virgil and Patton shared a concerned glance, Roman just focused on his food, Logan and Patton continued to talk, Logan seemed to be more quiet than usual, but still replied to Patton's comment the same way he always did, it just felt forced to Roman, like Logan didn’t really want to be there, he couldn’t blame him though, he himself didn’t want to be there either, Virgil just ate and eventually chimed in to make his usual snarky remarks

"Virge…" Roman pulled the sleeve of Virgil's hoodie to grab his attention, Logan and Patton weren't paying attention to them, they were instead chatting about Thomas adopting a pet, or something like that, Roman wasn't paying attention to what they were saying either.

"Yeah, what's wrong, Ro?" Virgil softly asked

"Would you miss me if I were to die?" Roman asked

"What?" Virgil looked surprised at the question "Die? How? You are a side Roman, you can't die, at least there's no way that I know of" he replied in a relaxed manner “If I knew how I would’ve tried it a long time ago” he snickered 

"I can stop doing my job and slowly disappear" 

"Ducking out? I already tried that," Virgil looked at Logan and Patton "trust me, they wouldn't let you" 

Roman sighed "What about suicide?"

"Dude, isn't that kind of the same as ducking out?"

"...I guess" Roman thought for a moment "I mean, like hanging yourself or slitting your wrist, something like that" 

"We are sides, I doubt that'd work," Virgil thought for a moment "Maybe I should try and see if it works sometimes" he laughed and continued to calmly eat his food

Roman didn't like the fact that Virgil wasn't taking him seriously and was instead making jokes and laughing about it, but no one ever takes him seriously, so why does it matter now? "Would you miss me?" He questioned again, Virgil just stared "Would you miss me if I killed myself?" 

"Roman, are you serious?" Virgil now looked more concerned than ever, Roman didn't reply "Roman, please tell me you are kidding" Virgil took a deep breath "I thought you were kidding, I'm-"

"What's wrong?" Logan asked realizing the other two were having a conversation that seemed to be upsetting both of them 

Virgil was about to reply but Roman interrupted him by smiling at Logan and happily replying with "Nothing! Everything's a-ok, Lo!" 

Patton smiled back "I'm glad, kiddo!" he replied

"Well, this was an astonishing conversation, Patton,” Logan began standing up “but I need to finish some stuff if you don't mind," he continued 

"Yeah, I need to go do some stuff too, see you all later, it's your time to wash the dishes, by the way, Virgil!" Patton exclaimed leaving the room with Logan in front of him, Virgil sighed at the realization that it was, in fact, his turn to do so.

Roman turned to look at Virgil after both of them left the room, his eyes went from happy and full of life to dull and empty in seconds, Virgil obviously realized this "I thought you were kidding..."

"You always think that…" he muttered, "I thought I could talk to you because I thought you would understand"

"I'm sorry" Virgil sighed thinking of a way to approach this "Roman, I don't know if there's a way aside can die, aside from slowly disappearing after you stop doing your job, I think it's impossible for any of us to die" Roman looked annoyed at the explanation "Do you really want to die?"

"Yes," Roman replied without a second thought

"Roman you are a prince! You are supposed to confront your problems, fight back, not run an away from them"

"That's the problem, everyone keeps telling me what I'm supposed to do, who I'm supposed to be, am I not good enough?" Roman's voice was shaky, he was clearly about to cry

"That's not what I meant!" Virgil nervously clarified "It's just that… Running away from your problems isn't always the best solution… I’m sorry, Roman, I don’t really know what to say” he apologized 

"It’s ok, Virge” Roman weakly smiled, he didn’t get an answer to his question, was Virgil just telling him all these things to avoid feeling guilty for his death or was it because he genuinely cared? Probably the first option...

“Also, what would Thomas do without you?” Virgil softly smiled “You are his creativity!”

“He has Remus.”

“Yeah, but Remus is… You know, Remus.”

“He would do a much better job than I do, and… We are honestly not that different, Janus said it himself”

Virgil looked at the ground trying to think of a comforting answer to give Roman, he took a deep breath “I don’t really know what to do to help you, Roman…”

“Help me die?”

“No, no! Help you not feel this way…” He sighed “I don’t know how to help you, but you need to understand you are an important part of Thomas, you can’t just leave us…” He looked at the ground and grabbed Roman’s hand “You can’t leave me” 

Roman softly smiled at the gesture, this time it was a genuine smile, not a fake or forced one “I won’t leave you, but that doesn’t mean my thoughts are just going to go away” Roman realized how much easier it was for him to talk about this with Virgil, he wasn’t even crying, imagine trying to tell Patton he didn’t want to live anymore, that would be chaotic

“We are all part of Thomas, as much as I hate to admit it, Janus is just as important as any of us…”

“But he lied and manipulated us”

“I wasn’t perfect either, but with time and your help, I changed, I learned and grew…” Virgil took a deep breath “What I’m trying to say is that I am living proof that people can change, and as much as I don’t like him… At all, maybe giving him an opportunity isn’t a bad idea"

“But, I did give him an opportunity, and he used me… Again" he took a shaky breath, "He told me he loved me, he made me feel special, and as soon as he got what he wanted… He Compares me to my brother and calls me evil"

Virgil sadly smiled and grabbed Roman's hand "Roman… I'm sorry" he softly said

Roman looked at him confused "Why are you sorry?" He asked

"Because I didn't protect you" Virgil sadly looked at the ground "Roman" he firmly said as he looked up and cupped Roman's face with both of his hands "listen to me, we need you,  _ I _ need you… so,  _ please _ don't leave me… Because I-" Virgil thought for a while looking at Roman’s face, he had such pretty green eyes, they looked so sad… Roman's face felt hot, was he blushing? “I love you, Roman…You are amazing I don’t know what we’d do without you,  _ we need you _ ” After a few seconds of processing what Virgil said Roman started crying uncontrollably "Oh my god, Roman, don't cry!"

"I'm so sorry…" Roman replied between sniffles "I just needed to hear that"

Virgil smiled "You want a hug?" He asked

"Yes, please…"

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Please, support my other work: https://princestorm.carrd.co/


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